Rules of Friendship


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I just finished Amy Sue Nathan’s debut novel, the Glass Wives. What a great story about two women that are thrown together under the most unusual circumstances. They were both married to the same man. Evie Glass is the ex-wife, but when Richard suddenly passes away, the widow, young Nicole  Glass, wants to be a part of Evie and her children’s lives.

The other theme that resonated with me was the friendship between Evie and her two good friends, Laney and Beth. They didn’t always get along, and a secret threatens to end their friendship. It made me think about how we define the rules of friendship. Does friendship mean that there are no secrets? Does it mean that your love should forgive anything? Most people say you can tell your friends by the ones that stick around during the hard times. I am not so sure that is the true test. People like to reach out and lend a hand to someone less fortunate or hurting. It makes them feel better about themselves. I think true friendship has more to do with sticking around when things are good, or boring, or uneventful.

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When was the last time one of your friends burst through your front (or back) door without knocking? When did you last call a friend with no agenda? I think of the sitcom, Two and a Half Men, (which is usually hysterical even if it is not appropriate for all audiences.) Remember the time Charlie stood outside his mother’s door talking into the security camera? “What do you want Charlie?” His reply: “Do I have a reason to see my own mother?” Do you need a reason to see your mother, or child, or best friend?

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Perhaps it is because our lives are so busy. Maybe it is a generational thing. Perhaps we have spouses to fill that spot as BFF. Personally, I miss the bond I had when my friend could stop over without calling first. I miss being able to pick up the phone for no reason other than I wanted to talk; about everything . . . or about nothing. Looking back, I think I have only had two friends in my entire life with that kind of relationship. You know who you are. Who are your Laney and Beth?

What is your definition of friendship? What are your rules?

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2 thoughts on “Rules of Friendship

  1. We moved from Australia to America ten years ago, and until that time, I rarely had a cup of coffee alone. If it was coffee time and a friend wasn’t sitting at my table, I’d visit them. There was a choice of five friends I could choose from.
    However, once in America, I didn’t know anyone and I became attached to having my morning tea with my computer, because it was the link to my friends. We did Skype, but mostly it was emails, and these days, Facebook, too. In the five and a half years I lived in the US, no one ever came for coffee uninvited. I live in Scotland now, and once again, friends drop in for coffee or tea, but most of the time, I still enjoy my coffee with my computer. Now, my emails go to friends all around the world, and I love receiving them.
    I like my friends to be honest with me, but living away from long time friends, has changed the rules. There no longer are any if I enjoy the friendship, although if I’m being very honest, I’d have to say I like to feel they want to be my friend as well.

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    • Julie, being that I never had a sister, I relied on friends for that female companionship. From what you say here, it sounds like America is not as “drop by friendly” as other countries. I am sorry to hear that, but not surprised. Joanne Tailele Author, Accident http://www.joannetailele.com http;//joannetailele.wordpress.com

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